


A Few Scars

by Rivulet027



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Bodhi Rook Lives, Bodhi Rook Needs a Hug, Developing Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Hair Brushing, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Stordan Tonc, Past Stordan Tonc/Wedge Antilles, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Survivor Guilt, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 13:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20193019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027
Summary: Stordan is sure Andor recruits him for Scarif because he's got a protective streak when it comes to pilots, but when a few them live Stordan isn't sure how to move forward. He sticks close to Bodhi.Or the one where Stordan Tonc wishes he could punch many things.





	A Few Scars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smaragdbird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/gifts).

> A/N: Thank you to MapleOwl18 for the encouragement and answering so many questions. Thank you to Midnightclarity for the beta. I spent quite a bit of time on the wiki trying to confirm that the terms I was using were correct. Any mistakes are my own. I borrowed two characters from outside of Star Wars: Carter is from Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue and Damon is from Power Rangers Lost Galaxy. I also recently started using googledocs and haven't quite gotten used to it's spelling and grammar, though I did run this through word, reread, and have it betaed. If you notice any mistakes please let me know. Thanks!

Stordan Tonc knows he's karked the moment he sees Bodhi Rook. He's willing to bet that Andor knows it too. He's even more sure that's one of the reasons he's been recruited is because Andor knows Stordan has an idiotic protective thing when it comes to pilots. Either that or Andor knows about that damn crash and burn barely a relationship thing he had with Wedge. No, Andor knows about that, everyone seems to know about that. So Stordan knows he's karked before they even finish loading every supply they can scrounge onto the ship. Andor stops near him. "Do me a favor?"

The next words out of Andor's mouth are going to be to protect the pilot and Stordan isn't going to have Andor's last order to him be _that_ so he says, "Already there. Got it."

As soon as they’re in hyperspace he still heads to the cockpit and sits on the floor near Bodhi. He takes a sip of his water before he hands over the canteen and makes introductions. Bodhi takes it gratefully, then answers his questions. Sometimes he takes a moment to consider how to answer Stordan, other times he simply shakes his head. Occasionally he states, “I don’t know.”

Andor’s right, the pilot needs protecting. He’s nervous and hesitant and clearly hasn’t been in any ground battles. Still, Bodhi brought the message that let them know where to steal the plans so they could help destroy a planet killer. Bodhi could’ve just kept his head down and not defected or could’ve decided he did his part after delivering the message, but here he is flying them into Scarif. Stordan is oscillating between worrying he’s going to watch Bodhi die and being impressed. The mission sounds suicidal, but imperative. The longer Stordan thinks about it the more he knows they at least need to get the plans out, so if anyone is going to survive it’s going to need to be the pilot. 

They live, somehow, they live. Stordan doesn’t feel clear on the details, he’s not even sure what ship Bodhi’s managed to get them to. In the quiet, after the medics have emptied the cargo hold Stordan takes several slowing breathes as he tries to figure out what to do with the realization that he’s survived yet another mission that he shouldn’t have. He grabs his helmet from where it’s rolling against a bulkhead and shoves it back on his head. He shudders as he remembers letting Bodhi go out onto that landing pad without a helmet. He remembers Rosa taking off her helmet and getting...Stordan closes his eyes and rocks back on his heels as he tries to shove that particular memory away. He’s going to get Bodhi a helmet. He’s not going to risk sending Bodhi out into what might turn into firefight without a helmet again. Stordan opens his eyes and finds himself staring at the ladder with a sinking feeling: Bodhi is still in the cockpit. Stordan presses his lips together to keep from calling out and perhaps startling Bodhi. He heads up the ladder cautiously.

He finds Bodhi curled up in the pilot seat. His arms are around his legs and his chin is resting on top of his knees. He's staring blankly at the controls. Stordan lets himself collapse into the other seat. 

“They’re both dead,” Bodhi says, his voice sounds hollowed out and distant.

“We looked. You flew up to that tower and they weren’t there,” Stordan manages. 

“If one of us wasn’t going to survive it was supposed to be me, not him. It never...I didn’t think that if we got his message out, he’d be the one to die and we didn’t even know if she was still alive.”

He’s not talking about Andor, Stordan realizes, but Jyn and her father. Part of him wants to ask if Bodhi’s upset about losing Andor too, but his words echo the thoughts Stordan has been having too often recently. Why am I the one to walk away alive?

Bodhi brushes a hand over his mouth and takes a ragged breath. “How many?”

“Don’t know yet, medics just got them.”

Bodhi looks at him then, eyes finally focusing. He stares at Stordan and tells him voice dull, “You’re covered in blood.”

Stordan tilts his head as he looks Bodhi over slowly. Maybe Bodhi’s in shock? Stordan resists the urge to groan. He’s too tired, all he wants to do is sleep for maybe a week and then to see if he can drag Bodhi into bed with him, give him a ‘welcome to the Rebellion’ that he won’t forget.

“Happens, when you’re triaging people. We didn’t have any damn medics on the ground.” Stordan says instead. “I can at least hold pressure and working an AED is mostly self-explanatory.”

“Someone stole an AED to bring along?”

“Imps are weird, should be standard on all ships,” Stordan attempts to tease. Maybe if he lightens the mood Bodhi will look less like he’s ready to curl in on himself again?

“They always cared more about what was being hauled than the person hauling it. I’m replaceable.”

“Not here you’re not,” Stordan tells him. “Here we need everyone we can get.”

"What happens now?" Bodhi asks.

"We figure out where the med bay is and get checked out."

Bodhi shakes his head, "I'm fine. I don't need medical."

Stordan doesn't like the way fear tinges Bodhi's words. Who made him that scared of medics? Stordan want to find and punch them.

"Are you hurt?" He frowns.

"I'm fine," Bodhi reiterates, but the words are too rote. Bodhi is definitely not fine.

Stordan groans. He's too tired for this. "Let me at least see if there's still a medic hanging around. You have to get cleared after missions or they won't let you go on another one."

"None of us were cleared to go to Scarif," Bodhi reminds. "How much-How much trouble do you think we're in? What do they when…"

Bodhi breaks off as his breathing starts going ragged. He gives Stordan a look of horror. Stordan takes his hands and squeezes. "Admiral Raddus showed up. We're fine. We survived. Now we get checked out."

Bodhi shakes his head. Stordan sighs. He wants to get out of these clothes. He wants to feel clean and to find a bed. 

He squeezes Bodhi's hands again and tries, "Just stay here while I check for a medic, okay?"

Bodhi frowns. His eyes dart over Stordan's face for a moment.

“Trust me,” Stordan pleads.

Bodhi nods slowly. Stordan tries to give him a smile before he scrambles his way out of the ship and looks around the shuttle bay. His shoulders sag in relief when he spots a tall, pale human man with sandy hair slowly going through the contents of his medkit. Stordan’s smiles, grateful that Carter makes a habit of sticking around in the shuttle bay so he can help any stragglers that aren’t quite convinced they need a medic to clear them. Stordan is grateful they’re somehow on the same ship. Carter frowns at him when Stordan calls him over.

“Any of that blood yours?” Carter asks.

“No. I don’t think so. Maybe I need to learn what you do,” Stordan comments. 

“We can always use more medics,” Carter agrees, then frowns as he looks Stordan over with an accessing gaze. “I thought you were grounded?”

He is. How does he explain that some things are worth dying for without earning himself more time in therapy?

“There were planet killer plans to steal and we needed all the hands they could get,” Stordan says neutrally. 

Carter glances at the U-Wing Stordan is standing near. “Anyone else in there?”

“I’m having trouble convincing the pilot he needs to check in with medical.”

“Defector?” Carter asks.

“Recent,” Stordan agrees.

Carter blows out a breath of frustration. “They always think we’re going to kick them out if they aren’t perfect or not do anything for them and put them right back to work.”

“Right?” Stordan commiserates hoping his words will get Carter moving.

Carter follows him to the cockpit. It's cramped with the three of them. Carter crouches down, his voice going slightly deeper and slower as he introduces himself and then asks Bodhi if he can access him. Then while carefully asking permission Carter presses on one of Bodhi’s fingernails, pinches the back of his hand, then uses his medscanner. He glances at the results before getting Bodhi to let him roll up a sleeve. Carter tilts his head. “Can I see your other wrist?”

Bodhi wets his lips and glances back at Stordan. He steps forward enough to squeeze Bodhi’s shoulder in encouragement. Bodhi holds out his other hand, flinching minutely as Carter rolls the sleeve up. Stordan shifts slightly so he can see the scabs around Bodhi’s wrist. 

“Are you able to tell me what happened here?” Carter asks

Bodhi shakes his head. “I don’t want...no.”

“That’s alright. I’m going to want to make sure these are clean and bandaged. We don’t want you getting an infection. Also, you’re dehydrated so we’ll want to address that. Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Bodhi glances back at him. Stordan nods at him. “You can trust Carter.”

Bodhi sighs, then takes off his goggles and hands them to Stordan. His fingers close around the straps as he realizes what he’s taken for scars on the back of Bodhi’s neck near his hairline are actually scabs.

“We need to switch,” Stordan tells Carter, even as he wonders at how Carter is remaining so calm. He wants to push at Bodhi, find out what happened. He wants a target. 

Carter goes soothing again, telling Bodhi that he and Tonc are going to switch places as the two of them do. He asks Stordan to hold Bodhi’s hand and tells Bodhi to let him know if he needs to stop.

“You don’t have to coddle me,” Bodhi grumbles.

Stordan squeezes Bodhi’s hand. “It’s kind of what Carter does.”

Carter’s finishes his exam quickly, though his calm seems to fray a bit as he insists they all go to the med deck. Once there they get Bodhi onto one of the medical beds. Then Carter shoves a robe at Stordan and walks him over to where he can get a bag to save his clothes for cleaning later.

“I think my pants are salvageable,” Stordan stalls as they walk away from Bodhi. It’s not going to be easy to get the stain out of his shirt, but he’s not giving up his vest or pants. He got more shirts if he ends up needs to get rid of this one. As soon as they’re out of earshot he glares at Carter. “What is it?”

Carter’s mouth clacks shut, and he glances at Bodhi. “I’ve only ever read about...I’m wrong. He’s responsive and coherent and I’m wrong.”

Stordan doesn’t like the way it sounds like Carter’s trying to convince himself. “We’ll go convince a med droid of that.”

He lets Carter check him over with a medscanner before having a quick shower. He shoves his shirt and vest into the bag. Then he pulls on his underwear and the robe before slinging his pants over his arm and grabbing the bag and both his boots with his socks stuffed inside. A doctor is waiting just outside the refresher for him. He doesn’t recognize her. She’s a purple Twi’lek about his height with intensely worried dark brown eyes. 

“Where the hell did you find Rook?” she demands instead of introducing herself.

“He flew us into and out of Scarif,” Stordan tells her as he glances around the med deck. He relaxes slightly when he sees that Baze is already heading towards them.

“Was he alone at any point?”

“He never left my sight,” Stordan insists. Not even during that dangerous run with the cable. Stordan wets his lips. He could’ve watched Bodhi die. They all could’ve died. How many are dead?

“Corporal,” she says in an exasperated tone.

Stordan frowns. Did he miss a question?

“What’s wrong with Bodhi?” Baze asks as he joins them.

Stordan looks past them to Bodhi who’s now connected to a monitor and covered with a shock cloth. A medical droid is talking to him. Stordan frowns. “Is all this necessary? He’s got a few scabs that look like he was tied up, but...”

She glares at Stordan as she cuts him off. “The last time I took care of someone who’d encountered a bor of the Mairan they...well they weren’t nearly that coherent so yes he needs a psychological evaluation and monitoring. Where did you find him? Who did that to him?”

Stordan doesn’t know what a bor of the Mairan is, but if it’s got the doctor that upset and it hurt Bodhi, he wants to take a blaster to it, punching it probably wouldn’t be enough.

Baze closes his eyes and settles back on his feet with a grunt. He says something in a language Stordan doesn’t know. Then he opens his eyes and tells them, “Saw Gerrera.” 

The medical droid starts to head towards them and Stordan moves around Baze so he can make his way over to Bodhi. He collapses in a chair and smiles at the chagrin on Bodhi’s face. Stordan brings his chair close to the bed. He drops his things under the chair before taking one of Bodhi’s hands in his own. Stordan manages, “I’m too tired to deal with all this fuss so just make me a list of people I need to punch, and I’ll get on that once I wake up.”

“I’m fine,” Bodhi’s words are barely a protest. He sounds as tired as Stordan feels. “Mostly.”

Stordan makes a disbelieving noise before resting his head on a free spot on the bed. Bodhi squeezes his hand. Stordan squeezes back. Bodhi’s free hand comes to rest on the back of his neck. Stordan sighs and lets himself drift. They’re safe here, for now.

Stordan starts to open his eyes when he hears Carter’s voice.

“Don’t wake up just yet, going to move you to the bed,” Carter tells him as he puts arms around Stordan and guides him to his feet. Stordan blinks his eyes and realizes they’ve put the rails up on the medical bed Bodhi’s in. He makes a noise that he thinks says he understands before he crawls into the bed next to Bodhi, who curls around him. Stordan takes Bodhi’s hand again. He’s about to let go and find the blanket, before they’re both being covered. He drifts back to sleep again.

He wakes briefly to Baze urging Bodhi out of the bed. “Chirrut needs to be in the bacta tank a bit longer so we’re staying here. You’re going back to Yavin. Come tell me what you’ve lost.”

“Go back to sleep,” Bodhi tells him with a squeeze to his shoulder.

Stordan drifts fitfully until Bodhi’s back in bed with him.

Stordan doesn’t quite feel like waking up when they get to Yavin 4, but he forces himself to be alert. He makes himself pulls his pants back on, then checks his socks. He puts them back on, then his boots as he studies the several small interweaving braids that are eventually braided together in Bodhi’s hair. 

“Baze do that?” he asks.

Bodhi nods. “It’s for mourning.”

Stordan is wondering if it's appropriate to ask about the meaning of the different patterns when Carter joins them. He hands Bodhi a bag. "The clothes you came in with are in a separate bag, but I scrounged up some other things for you."

"Thank you," Bodhi says gratefully as he heads off to wash up and change.

Carter sits down next to him and Stordan asks about the medical kit in his hands.

"Practice kit. It's got a datapad with lessons included, if you were serious about getting some medic training."

Stordan takes the kit gratefully. He's not ready to watch another squad die around him, but maybe he could make it back out to the field if he's helping to triage and get fellow soldiers out of the battle? Maybe some of them would live.

"Thank you."

Carter nods, then tells him. “We’re going to keep a monitor on Rook for now. Would you mind him rooming with you? He’s comfortable with you and you know CPR.”

Stordan stares at him, then swears, then shakes his head. “Are you expecting him to drop dead?”

Carter frowns. “He’s walking and talking and he’s making sense so we’re just being cautious.”

“Room him with me,” Stordan agrees. “We need to get him a comm.”

“I put a wrist unit in his bag,” Carter tells him. “Probably not the best thing with him having a wrist monitor, but it’s what we had extra of.”

When Bodhi gets back Stordan pokes the bulky wrist monitor. Bodhi wrinkles his nose at it. Then he holds out the comm and asks Stordan if he’d attach it under the medical device. Their orders are to bring the U-wing back to base and then get some sleep. When they reach their room Stordan thinks about offering to clear off the bottom bunk if that’s the one Bodhi wants. He doesn’t really care if he sleeps up top. They stare at each other a moment. 

“Those fit two?” Bodhi asks.

“Yes.”

They don’t talk about it further. They just drop their boots by the door, then their bags by the desk. Their pants get slung over a chair and then they’re both crowding into the bottom bunk and sleeping. Stordan ends up on his back with Bodhi curling around him. He sleeps more soundly than he has in a long time.

After breakfast they both check in with medical. Bodhi so they can determine if he still needs to be monitored and Stordan is going to therapy. His schedule shows daily therapy sessions again, it’s probably what he gets for going on a mission when he’s supposed to be grounded. 

He shoves himself into the chair across from his doctor and decides he’s not going to complain. What good would it do? He sighs. What is easier to talk about today: that he’s probably forming an unhealthy attachment to his new roommate or that some missions are worth dying for?

“I wasn’t the only one to come back alive,” he manages. 

They talk about that. He finds himself bringing up people he misses, who’s skills far outpaced his. There’s still so much to learn. 

“Haven’t you been teaching new recruits how to disarm proximity mines?” his therapist points out.

“And how to use slugthrowers,” he agrees. “I’m trying to pick up some medic training. I’m working with Carter tomorrow afternoon.”

He’s not sure how to react when he finds out the Death Star plans are lost. He’s grateful it’s just him and his therapist.

“At least they made if off the planet.” Each word aches as he says it, as he tries to convince himself that if the plans made it off Scarif there’s still hope. 

After he just wants to curl up in his bunk and sleep for the rest of the afternoon, but he wants to check in on Bodhi and Biggs is walking into the medical bay as he’s walking out of his therapist office. They pause.

“What are you doing here?” Stordan grumbles.

Biggs shrugs. “Janson’s sick. Thought I’d check in on him.”

Stordan grimaces. “He’s got that bug that’s going around?”

Biggs nods with a grimace.

“And you’re going to risk catching it?”

“Come on, I’ll be fine,” Biggs reassures. 

Stordan shakes his head, trying to look like he’s sorry for Biggs fate.

“You’re looking better,” Biggs prods.

Stordan scowls.

“What? You’re not still mad at me?” Biggs protests.

Stordan points to his therapist’s door. “That is your fault!”

“You looked like shit and were a mess,” Biggs defends. “Would you have let me drag you down here if you’d been sober?”

“Drag me! Drag me? You threw me over your shoulder and the next thing I knew I was being dumped onto a bed in here!” Stordan growls.

“You’re welcome.”

The small smile Biggs is trying to contain along with the concern in his eyes deflates Stordan. He narrows his eyes, then glances around the medical bay as he makes a decision. He finds Bodhi sitting on a bed with a monitor attached to his arm.

“The way I see it: you owe me a favor,” Stordan tells him slowly.

Biggs raises his eyebrows.

“Make Janson wait a few minutes and come meet the pilot that flew us in and out of Scarif?” Stordan asks.

Biggs grins and follows him over. Introductions are brief and Stordan watches Biggs shake Bodhi’s hand with a sinking feeling. Then Bodhi smiles and catches his hand. Stordan squeezes it.

“They want to run two more scans and then I have to meet a therapist to see if I can work with him,” Bodhi tells him. “They’re not going to make me wear the wrist monitor anymore, I think.”

Stordan nods. “Comm me when you’re done, and we’ll get lunch?”

“Come down to the simulator when you’re done with lunch. I can show you what it’s like to fly an X-wing,” Biggs encourages.

“No! Stop!” a female voice calls out from behind a partition. “He and I already made plans. I barely saw him first and you’re already trying to poach him!”

“Aw come on,” Biggs tries to cajole. “It’s just getting him used to the simulator. We can both help him with that and he can make a decision later on down the line.”

She makes a disbelieving noise.

Biggs leans in close to Bodhi and whispers, “Red Squadron. Just go with Red Squadron.”

“He’s not going to Red!” the woman argues.

Stordan thinks the argument is being done in a somewhat mocking tone and that the two of them are likely trying to make Bodhi feel more at ease. Still Stordan shakes his head, gives Bodhi’s hand another squeeze, and leaves to let him make friends with fellow pilots. He heads down the hall trying not to think about how with his luck Bodhi will probably end up making friends with all the pilots and maybe even get into a relationship with Wedge and then Stordan will just want to...Stordan stops and presses his back to the wall. He runs a hand down his face and takes a deep breath. Bodhi doesn’t owe him anything. Wedge certainly doesn’t owe him anything. Stordan also really wants to know when his interest in Bodhi became a bit more than lust. He can handle lust, he’s good with that, and maybe Bodhi would’ve been good with that, but he can’t expect Bodhi to reciprocate feelings, not when Stordan feels like he’s barely holding it together some days. He’s a mess and now everyone knows he’s a mess. No, he’s going to keep this to himself. Maybe if he keeps putting one foot in front of the other, he and Bodhi can work out a friendship.

Stordan shoves himself off the wall and stalks off to find the mechanic he wants to find. Damon is easy to spot in his grease stained green coveralls. Damon is a tall, dark human with a shaved head. He’s sitting in front of a red and white astromech droid with a panel open. There’s a toolbox sitting next to him and he’s keeping up a soothing line of questions as he works with the droid to figure out the repair that are needed. Stordan sits near him.

“Want me to explain what I’m doing if R5-D8 doesn’t mind?” Damon offers.

Stordan smiles slightly when he manages to catch that the series of beeps R5-D8 makes after Damon questions state that they don’t mind if Damon explains. It doesn’t take Damon long to find the faulty wire and replace it. After R5-D8 rolls away Damon turns to him. “So…?”

Stordan rubs the back of his head. “How’s your wife?”

“She’s good, but you didn’t come over here to ask me about my wife.”

Stordan wets his lips. “I was thinking about our losses on Scarif and I know SpecForce and some of the Pathfinders have brought you Imperial Droid parts in case Kaytoo needed repairs. Did Andor make a back-up? Could we rebuild him?”

Damon reaches out and gives Stordan’s upper arm a squeeze of reassurance. “I do have a back-up for Kay from before all of you left for Scarif and I probably have enough parts by now that I could, with some help, rebuild him, but that was always more for Cassian. If we lost Kay, Cassian was going to want him back. Kay asked me not to bring him back if Cassian wasn’t here.”

Stordan huffs out a sad noise and shakes his head. “I was hoping for one less loss.”

“I know. I just…” Damon trails off and shrugs his shoulders. “I want to respect Kay’s wishes on this. I know we could use him, but I’m not sure how long he’d stay running without Cassian. Some droid they just…”

Damon shrugs again.

“Maybe if we got him therapy,” Stordan mutters sardonically.

“Sorry,” Damon offers again.

“It was worth a try,” Stordan sighs as he gets to his feet. He heads to supplies to see if he can scrounge Bodhi up anymore gear. He at least wants to get Bodhi a helmet. He’s not sure about clothing or boot size, but he grabs Bodhi a vest he can easily store gear in, a canteen, and a helmet. Then he heads down to the armory and gets a training blaster.

“You’ve trained people before, just return it with his scores and we’ll get him assigned something that actually works,” the quartermaster advises.

Stordan agrees and takes his finds back to his room before he heads back to the medical bay. Bodhi is just leaving the therapist’s room. He smiles when he sees Stordan. “I was just about to comm you. Can we get out of here?”

Stordan agrees, then advise Bodhi what to put on his tray. They head back to their room. Stordan grins. “I think I still have some red pepper flakes and I know I still have a few bouillon cubes. You like soup?”

“Soup sounds really good right now.”

Stordan pulls his portable stove and container where he stores a small collection of seasonings and dried food stuff. It’s been awhile since he cooked for anyone and he sighs at the familiarity of it. Cooking is always relaxing and they’ve both already had long days. Bodhi curls up on the bed, asks him a few questions about his time with the Rebellion, then falls asleep. Stordan wakes him up when he’s got lunch ready. 

Stordan smiles when Bodhi makes an appreciative noise after taking his first spoonful of soup. 

“Thank you,” Bodhi smiles.

Stordan nods, grinning to himself at the happiness on Bodhi’s face. As they eat, they make small talk about their plans for after lunch. Bodhi’s been asked to move the U-wing so he can help evacuate medical patients in case they evacuate the base. Stordan’s been reassigned to help him.

“We treat all bases like they’re temporary and run evacuation drills regularly,” he explains. “We can practice running a gurney to your ship after you’re done running simulations.”

“I’m going to have to move the ship first. Want to learn how to take-off and land?” Bodhi offers.

Stordan laughs. “Well they’ve paired me with you. I doubt you’ll make a pilot out of me, but I don’t mind learning the basics.”

Are they trying to push him into a non-combat assignment when he isn’t requesting one?

Bodhi bites his lower lip and Stordan’s focus changes. He wants to close the distance between them, but clearly Bodhi’s been through a lot and he shouldn’t take advantage.

“Are you…” Bodhi starts to ask, then trails off as he stares at his empty bowl.

“If I had an issue being paired with you, I’d have said something,” Stordan points out.

“Saying you’d watch out for me on Scarif didn’t mean you have to keep helping me adjust after,” Bodhi tells him. “Especially…especially when I don’t know how much help I’ll need.”

Does Bodhi not want his company? Stordan frowns. He isn’t sure what to do with the idea that Bodhi might not even want to be friends.

Bodhi reaches out and squeezes his hand. “I appreciate it.”

Stordan relaxes.

“I-I should,” Bodhi stutters, then stops. He sighs. “I guess I should try to explain. The medics gave me a list of symptoms to watch out for.”

“The Mairan?” he guesses.

Bodhi nods curling in on himself slightly as he hugs himself with one arm. Stordan sets his bowl down and stands so he can sit next to Bodhi. He gently takes Bodhi’s bowl from him and sets it down before wrapping an arm around him.

“Bor Gullet,” Bodhi whispers. “I guess that was it’s name. I don’t want to lose my mind, but I know I did for a bit and my heads a jumbled mess.”

Stordan squeezes his shoulder. He’s knows this feeling.

Bodhi exhales slowly and runs a hand over his face before he continues slowly, “Everything after I talked to Cassian is linear, but everything before that is out of order.”

“Out of order?”

“I remember mourning my sister’s death before I remember her wedding,” Bodhi explains.

“Do you have more than one sister?” Stordan asks.

Bodhi stills. He tilts his head to look at Stordan and then wrinkles his nose. Stordan bites his lip hoping his words haven’t offended Bodhi.

“Maybe?” Bodhi frowns. “I-I don’t know.”

“That sucks.” Stordan commiserates.

“It does. It sucks so much. I mean I feel like I remember all the piloting things I’ve studied over the years, but now I don’t know. I know what I remembered on Scarif…”

“Which we wouldn’t have been able to do our mission without,” Stordan points out.

Bodhi gives him a small half smile and Stordan wants to catch Bodhi’s chin in his hand and lean in to kiss him. Stordan looks away. Bodhi’s sitting here trying to talk about the horrible things that happened to him before Stordan even met him and Stordan is thinking about kissing him. Stordan isn’t sure what to do with the guilt or certainty that he’s a poor friend for this.

“They drilled things into our heads so much that maybe that’s still there. I just don’t know,” Bodhi grumbles. He shakes his head. “I don’t really want to talk about this.”

“Want to try on the helmet I found for you?” Stordan offers.

Bodhi agrees and Stordan gets the helmet. He makes some adjustments so it’ll fit properly and then smiles at the satisfaction he feels seeing a helmet on Bodhi’s head. Then they move the U-wing. They have time to practice evacuating with a gurney, that’s been weighted for them, twice before he needs to show Bodhi where the flight simulators are.

Bodhi shifts from foot to foot as he stares at the doors. “Did you want to go over take-offs and landings?”

Stordan claps him on the shoulder, hoping he’s being reassuring. “Today is about you getting a feel for how the pilots run things, we’ll sort me out later, okay?”

Biggs rounds the corner and strides towards them purposely. A pale human woman with a mass of black curls is trying to jostle in front of him. They’re ribbing each other but smiling at Bodhi. Stordan gives Bodhi’s shoulder a squeeze and makes his exit. 

He spends the afternoon going over the tools in the medkit, using the datapad to learn how they function. The datapad is packed with information that leads to lessons that lead to quizzes and then prompts for him to find any qualified medical personnel and demonstrate practical skills. There are directions to a skills lab. Stordan didn’t even know there was a skills lab. 

He and Bodhi meet up for supper. Bodhi is grinning as they sit down.

“Did you want to sit with your friends?” Stordan asks.

Bodhi doesn’t even look around, just shakes his head. “I’m good.”

After supper Stordan grabs a datapad and writes down the repairs Bodhi says the U-wing needs. They’re not at the ship long before several mechanics join them. One offers to take over for Stordan and he hands over the datapad so he can check the pilot’s berth. It’s small, with just a bunk and a set of drawers built into the wall. He grimaces at the size of the bunk.

“He a pilot, mechanic, and he understands binary,” Damon tells Stordan as he joins him. “You better not be trying to steal him to SpecForce.”

“Think he might be trying to steal me away from them,” Stordan says softly.

“Good,” Damon tells him tone serious. “You’ve been through enough.”

“So has he,” Stordan manages because he really doesn’t want to talk about the squads he’s been a part of or the friends he’s seen die.

Damon looks around the room, then pulls out one of the drawers. “We could rework the frame of the bed, get it to fit a standard bunk mattress. The space under the bed we could put up some mesh to hold equipment or build another set of drawers or make a hidden storage space.”

“Hiding spot would be good,” Stordan agrees as he tilts his head to look at it. “They’d probably suspect under the bed.”

Damon looks up. “What if we drop the ceiling a bit? Do you think they’d realize without scanning?”

Stordan agrees and they get to work. He’s not a mechanic, but he can do what he’s told and hold things in place or hand the mechanics tools. He and Bodhi work until the night shift crew takes over the hanger and kicks them out.

They sleep in the same bunk again. Stordan tells him about not being able to get Kaytoo back and Bodhi hugs him close. Stordan feels fuzzy and still half asleep when Bodhi wakes up crying out for Galen. He sits near Bodhi as he waits for him to catch his breath.

“I’m sorry.”

Stordan reaches out for him slowly and Bodhi turns into his embrace. He hugs Bodhi tightly. “You loved him?”

Bodhi nods against his shoulder. Stordan rubs his back and gets him to lay down with him again. He takes a slow breath and tells Bodhi what he wishes he’d been told when his whole world was falling apart. “You’re allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to feel like you’re a mess. Sometimes that’s the only way to get through it.”

Bodhi takes Stordan’s hand and presses it against his cheek. It’s wet and Stordan brushes at the tears there as he leans in and presses a kiss to Bodhi’s forehead and tries not to think about how Bodhi isn’t much older than Jyn. Stordan wonders if it wrong to want to punch a dead man. It can’t be, right?

They work. They train. They both go to therapy. Bodhi gets meetings with Draven and Stordan spends time in the skills lab. Bodhi joins him there when they get news about Alderaan. He stares at the wall blankly for a moment as he tells Stordan. 

“You want to get drunk or go to a place where you can scream and no one will mind or do you want to practice evacuating again?”

Bodhi turns to look at him slowly.

“There’s probably lines at the simulators already, but I’ll walk you down there if that’s what you need,” Stordan offers. Maybe being surrounded by pilots would be good for Bodhi or at least better then being in a nearly empty skills lab?

Bodhi wipes at the tears on his face. Stordan sits down next to him. Focusing on Bodhi is easier than thinking about how many lives have just been lost. The scope of it feels unimaginable. 

“Sometimes I think I shouldn’t have any tears left,” Bodhi tells him softly. 

Stordan takes Bodhi’s hand and sighs. “Sometimes I wish I had tears left. I cried when I survived my first squad. We’d lost members before and gained new members and I mourned them when they were gone and welcomed the new recruits. Then I got hurt and had to stay behind when they went out on the mission that got them all killed. I cried then, but I can’t tell you if I was crying because I was feeling guilty I wasn’t there to help, even though I’d have just died with them, or if I just missed them, or if I was angry that the intel was bad and…I tried to find focus in knowing that the company was still intact. I was assigned a different squad. Then they started to die and recruit and it just felt like I was stuck in that cycle again and I began to think that soon it would be my turn to die and get replaced by anyone on the many worlds we visited. I got angry or maybe I was just scared, but I didn’t cry. It got bad. I would pick fights with the guy I was with until we were screaming in each other’s faces and then I’d drag him to bed as if any of that would just make it go away or hurt less. I don’t even know why he put up with me for as long as he did, but it wasn’t healthy for either of us, and he deserved better than being used like that. If you need to cry to deal with the stress, then you need to cry to deal with the stress.”

Bodhi nods and squeezes his hand. “Thank you.”

Stordan shrugs helplessly. A whole planet just gone, nothing he says is going to make that hurt less. For a moment Bodhi studies him and Stordan dreads the questions about his second squad that Bodhi might ask. 

“Want to practice evacuating?” Bodhi suggests. “The Death Star terrifies me.”

“Me too,” Stordan agrees. “Let’s do that.”

They both try to stay busy. When the plans they worked so hard to steal make their way to Base One Stordan isn’t sure how to take the news. He thinks he should feel joyous because now none of the deaths on Scarif were in vain, but he only feels a low churning of anticipation in his gut. Will the plans mean anything? Will they help? After everything they’ve given up for those plans will they prove to be worth the price?

He doesn’t get time to think about it. They’re evacuating. It’s not until he and Bodhi have secured the patient they’ve been tasked with bringing to the U-wing and several other patients and medics are packing into the ship that they realize the Death Star is targeting Yavin 4.

“Not again. Not again,” Bodhi stresses as they climb into the cockpit. 

“We survived it on Scarif. Survive it now,” Stordan manages.

Bodhi sucks in a breath. “Jedha and Scarif.”

The fear on his face makes Stordan realize that this might be the moment they all die. No more Rebel Alliance. No more hope.

“No,” Stordan tells him.

Bodhi nods and swallows.

Their eyes meet.

Stordan gives Bodhi a quick firm kiss. “In case we die, but get us out of here please?”

Bodhi nods and begins going through the lift off sequence quickly while telling Stordan how to help him. A medic climbs into the cockpit. “We’re all packed in. Are you cleared to be his copilot?”

“I’m cleared for take-offs, still working on landings,” Stordan tells her.

“Good enough for me,” she says as she heads back down.

By the time they make it to their evacuation site the Death Star is destroyed. Their orders are to offload the patients and returned with half the medics. Eventually they’ll be abandoning Base One, but for now they’re to return. It doesn’t take long to offload the wounded and for a moment it’s just Bodhi and Stordan standing in the empty cargo hold of the U-wing while they listen to the cheering and screaming in the hanger.

“It worked,” Bodhi says as he turns in a circle to take in the ship that he flew off Scarif. “It worked.”

His voice seems distant.

How many of them died? Stordan wonders. How many of the pilots aren’t alive now? Stordan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath as he reminds himself that the someone had to be alive to fire that shot.

“Stordan?” Bodhi asks.

Stordan opens his eyes and turns so he can take in the concern on Bodhi’s face. “I’m okay.”

Bodhi wraps his arms around him and Stordan feels his shoulders shaking as he hugs back. They stand there a moment clinging to one another. Stordan wishes he could feel the joy that is clear in the excitement in the hanger, but he wants to know what it cost.

“I…I need to know who died,” he manages.

Bodhi pulls back and cups his face. His warm brown eyes access Stordan briefly before he reassures, “We’ll find out.”

When they get back to Yavin 4 there’s already a list of the dead. Bodhi keeps an arm around him as they look it over. Biggs is dead. Stordan wets his lips feeling shaky as he sees how decimated the squads are, how many names are on there. He sags in relief when he realizes Wedge’s name isn’t on the list. Bodhi squeezes his hip and keeps him upright.

“Did you want to go the celebration?” Stordan asks.

“I don’t know if I want to be around that many people,” Bodhi tells him.

Stordan grimaces as he thinks about that many loud, drunk people. “We should at least see it.”

Bodhi agrees.

They head down to the hanger and watch the crowd.

“I wish Galen could see this,” Bodhi tells him. “And Jyn and Cassian and Kaytoo and…”

Stordan agrees.

“I think I need to lay down,” Bodhi sighs.

Stordan glances at him in concern.

“I’m fine,” Bodhi reassures. “Just so relieved that I’m exhausted, if that makes sense?”

“It does,” Stordan agrees. “I just want to see one person and I’ll join you.”

Bodhi gives his hip one last squeeze and then steps away. Stordan blinks, feeling suddenly lonely without Bodhi pressing into his side. He watches Bodhi walk away and considers just following him, but he just wants one look at Wedge. He doesn’t even need to talk to him. Biggs is dead and Wedge isn’t so Stordan wants to see that he isn’t. Stordan grumbles to himself. Why is his head being so ridiculous? Wedge’s name isn’t on the list so he’s alive. He weaves his way into the crowd as he glances at faces. There’s a tug on his elbow and he side steps to follow it. He turns and Wedge is standing in front of him.

“Did you come down here to punch me or kiss me?” Wedge asks.

Stordan wants to tell Wedge he’s drunk, but the words stick in his throat. He thinks he should tell Wedge he’s glad he’s alive.

“We never punched each other,” Stordan finds himself saying. “And if I kissed you, I think that friend of yours would punch us both.”

“Hobbie would!” Wedge agrees. “But he’s not here!”

“He would find out,” Stordan tells him.

Wedge nods gravely. “Then why are you down here looking for me?”

“To thank you,” Stordan tells him.

“You should thank Luke! All I did was fly away,” Wedge tells him as he stands on his toes and tries to look around the crowd. “Do you want to meet him? I’m sure he’s somewhere around here.”

Stordan shakes his head and pulls Wedge into a hug. Wedge leans into him and they sway slightly.

“Thanks for still being alive,” Stordan tells him.

Wedge tightens his grip. Stordan claps him on the back and the two of them step away from each other. Wedge tilts his head. “Are you going to go brood in your room?”

“I am going to get the first night of sound sleep I’ve had since I found out those plans existed,” Stordan contradicts.

“You were supposed to be grounded!” Wedge protests.

“Drunk,” Stordan teases with a shake of his head.

Wedge grins at him. “I’m going to stay and have fun.”

Stordan smiles and gently pushes Wedge back into the crowd before he heads to his room. He finds Bodhi sitting on their bed hugging his knees as he stares at a comb. Stordan pauses in the doorway and wonders if this is the moment Bodhi rejects him. Bodhi wets his lips. “Would you take the braids out of my hair?”

Stordan lets the door close behind him. It feels like he’s missing some of the meaning in the question.

“It’s been…its’…I’m supposed to ask a family member or-or…” Bodhi takes a slow shuddering breath.

Stordan cross the room and takes the comb. He sits on the bed behind Bodhi and carefully pulls apart the tie at the bottom. He hands it to Bodhi. “Is there any specific order for removing them?”

Bodhi shakes his head. Stordan wraps a carefully arms around Bodhi’s shoulder and gives him a firm hug. He holds Bodhi until he can feel Bodhi relax in his arms and then he settles back enough to start taking out the braids. He starts at the bottom and works each braid out slowly. Then he takes his time combing Bodhi’s hair savoring the way it feels against his hands.

“This is relaxing,” he finally says. “Did you want it tied back?”

“I’m supposed to wash it,” Bodhi says as he twists the hair tie around his fingers.

“Was I supposed to wait till after to comb it?”

Bodhi shakes his head. “No, but you can if you want to?”

Stordan considers asking Bodhi if he wants help washing his hair, but he’s not ready to break this quiet peace between them by possibly making Bodhi uncomfortable. Bodhi glances back at him. Would asking be taking advantage of Bodhi, especially since he knows Bodhi is still grieving? Bodhi considers him for a moment and then pats his knee. Stordan smiles. He grabs his medkit's datapad as Bodhi heads to wash up. He sets it down when Bodhi comes back and dries off his hair. It doesn’t take as long to work through Bodhi’s hair a second time. As he hands the comb back Bodhi says, “I think we should let Kaytoo know that the Death Star is destroyed. He should at least know that.”

“He should,” Stordan agrees.

Which is how they find themselves sitting in front of an Imperial Droid head as K-2SO comes back online. He chides them for not having Cassian with them, but then he listens.

“I suppose you’re going to say you still need me,” Kay complains.

“We do need all the hands we can get,” Stordan says carefully. “There’s going to be a medal ceremony…” 

“I won’t get one,” Kay points out. “Droids aren’t awarded medals.”

Bodhi grimaces. “You can have mine.”

“Can I have Cassian’s? He should be awarded one posthumously. Maybe I’ll bury it, though that would probably mean burying Jyn’s with his since they probably died together.”

“We can try to arrange that,” Bodhi encourages.

“We’re still going to have to build you a new body,” Stordan points out. “It might take a while.”

“Maybe you should get started then?” Kay pushes. “Someone is going to have to carry Bodhi eventually.”

“You didn’t have to carry me last time!”

“Only because you protested too much,” Kay points out.

Bodhi covers his mouth to keep from laughing.

“See,” Kay stresses. “Shut me down for now and bring me back online when I have a body that can actually help Bodhi get around.”

“I don’t need you to help me get around,” Bodhi protests.

“Give it time,” Kay says as he dims his optics.

There are enough outer parts to build Kaytoo his body again, but there are missing inner pieces that take a bit of time to find. It’s not difficult work and they’ve almost have everything they need when Chirrut and Baze show up to insist they go to the awards ceremony. It’s long and exhausting, but worth it to hear Bodhi catch up with Chirrut and Baze afterwards. 

They use the U-wing to help evacuate people to different ships and bases. Eventually all five of them: Baze, Chirruit, Stordan, Bodhi, and K-2SO find themselves assigned to the Republic.

“It’s an MC80A Starcruiser,” Bodhi tells them.

“I prefer a ground base, but I’m glad one of us will know our way around,” Chirrut teases lightly.

“I could just download a schematic,” Kay points out from the copilot’s seat.

Stordan looks at the four of them and shakes his head. Baze claps him on the back. “We all have assignments and the ship is large, but we’ll find one another.”

Chirrut agrees before he and Baze head off to find their assigned room. Kay leaves grumbling about finding a mechanic to help him fix how sluggish his legs are still moving. Stordan looks over at Bodhi. “Where are you heading?”

“Draven has more questions,” he grimaces.

Stordan wrinkles his nose. Bodhi laughs. “What about you?”

“Medical,” he sighs. “Two skills tests.”

Bodhi gives him a hug. “You’ll be fine.”

“Thanks.”

Passing two skills tests means they give him two more to study and learn and then they put him to work helping a nurse. He thinks he learns more than he helps, but she doesn’t chide him and answers all his questions. He decides to get a meal before figuring out where his room is. Just as he’s stepping out of line a voice greets him, “You are going to come sit with us.”

Stordan stops. He turns. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Hobbie grins at him.

Stordan’s eyes narrow. “Who’s us?”

“You know, you look a lot better,” Hobbie say as he starts walking towards a table.

“That’s not answering the question,” Stordan tells him. For a moment he considers not following, but there don’t seem to be a lot of empty seats. He finds a seat across from Hobbie and sits down. He greets Wedge and the younger guy that’s sitting next to him. Stordan frowns, the guy he doesn't know looks familiar for some reason. 

“So, you know Wedge,” Hobbie starts. “Have you met Luke?”

“No,” Stordan says holding out a hand and shaking Luke’s hand before he throws Wedge a slightly panicked look that is supposed to convey just how young the kid that blew up the Death Star looks.

“What are you doing?” Wedge asks as he elbows Hobbie.

“What?” Hobbie widens his eyes in faux innocence.

Wedge shakes his head.

“He looks healthier,” Hobbie starts.

“Are you going to mock us?” Wedge asks.

“Blame Biggs,” Stordan says at the same time. He suddenly hyper-aware of the way Luke is studying him.

“What actually happened there?” Wedge says slowly as he rubs the back of his head. “Cause we stopped talking or agreed to stop talking and then the next thing I know Biggs is avoiding you and you’re angry any time you see him, but then you’re also the one that clues him in that maybe we want to pay attention to Rook.”

For a moment Stordan wants to latch onto the subject change that Wedge is offering, but that somehow feels disrespectful to Biggs, especially with the way Luke and Hobbie are looking at him intently. Stordan sighs. “I got really drunk and I made a pass at Biggs. He told me I was a mess, then threw me over his shoulder and dumped me in medical. I got grounded and I still have therapy. I never actually got to thank him.”

He feels lighter somehow, just admitting that.

Wedge frowns. “Was I taking advantage of you?”

“I keep meaning to ask you the same thing,” Stordan offers.

“Or you could both just admit you both made each other miserable,” Hobbie grumbles. “And everyone else around you.”

“We were a really bad fit,” Wedge agrees.

“Terrible,” Stordan placates as he looks at Hobbie. He glances at Wedge who presses his lips together. Stordan pokes at the food on his plate, wondering if he can unpack and cook Bodhi and he something better. He glances at Hobbie and Wedge, wondering for a moment if he can ask about what a relationship between Galen and Bodhi would look like from their perspective, but ultimately he decides it’s not his place to ask.

“No,” Hobbie says abruptly as he reaches over to slap Wedge’s shoulder.

“What?” Wedge grumbles.

“Don’t look at him like that,” Hobbie glares. “Nothing good comes of you looking at him like that.”

“He’s getting righteously pissed off about something and that was always attractive,” Wedge complains.

“No,” Stordan tells him.

“You don’t want to admit you're attractive?” Wedge teases.

“You have horrible taste in men,” Stordan mocks.

“Clearly you need more therapy,” Wedge volleys back with a small grin.

Stordan laughs. “Probably.”

Bodhi drops into the seat next to Stordan and announces, “We have different room assignments.”

Stordan stills. “What?”

Bodhi nods. Stordan takes him in. He’s hugging himself and curling forward. Stordan slides his tray over and stick his fork in the desert on his plate. “Eat this.”

Bodhi sits back slightly to take a bite.

“We can get it fixed,” Stordan reassures.

Bodhi swallows. “Can we? I thought maybe we could stay on the U-wing, but just cause we keep getting assigned to it doesn’t make it ours and someone else might need it.”

Bodhi takes another bite and Stordan offers him his glass of juice. Bodhi shakes his head. Stordan grimaces. “Yeah, too sweet.”

“I’ll go get something else,” Hobbie offers before he walks away.

Bodhi eats another few bites and then passes the tray back. Hobbie sits back down and hands Stordan a glass. He hands it to Bodhi who takes it gratefully. After taking a long drink Bodhi sighs and states, “I got a new assignment so maybe we won’t be around much, but…”

“We’re rooming together, we’ll figure it out,” Stordan reassures.

Bodhi nods.

“New assignment?” Wedge asks. “Let me guess, it’s not an X-wing squadron?”

Bodhi turns and stares. His grip on his glass tightens. “No?”

“We’re going to have to fight with green for you, aren’t we?” Hobbie complains.

“I’m not assigned to them either. I’ll be running supplies,” Bodhi tells him.

“But your simulation scores are really good,” Luke tells him.

Bodhi throws Stordan a questioning look. Stordan shrugs. Bodhi wets his lips. “Um..I got told all the new people want to be on fighter squadrons and not enough people want to run cargo. I have experience so that’s where they’re putting me.”

Hobbie, Wedge, and Luke all start protesting. Bodhi stares at them with a frown and wide eyes.

“Maybe slow down?” Stordan suggests.

“It’s what I’m needed for right now, maybe they’ll change my assignment when I get back?” Bodhi offers slowly.

“Maybe if we request you,” Wedge says.

Bodhi shrugs. “I don’t know. I should probably go find Kay and let him know we’re on cargo runs.”

Stordan shakes his head and shoves his tray back over. “You should eat something. I’ll go back in line and get us more food.”

“You’re going to leave me alone with them?” Bodhi says with a mock doubtful tone.

“I think you’ll be okay,” Stordan teases back.

“They seem like a lot,” Bodhi says slowly.

Wedge swears. Hobbie pokes him. Wedge glares at Hobbie.

“I know,” Hobbie says pretending to clutch himself over his heart. “They’re adorable.”

Wedge tilts his head and looks back and forth between Bodhi and Stordan before offering. “I’m happy for you.”

Stordan makes a rude gesture at them. Hobbie pretends to be shocked. Wedge laughs. Luke looks back and forth between them, confusion evident on his face.

“I really do need to find Kay, can we go now?” Bodhi asks.

“Yeah,” Stordan agrees. He takes the tray with them. When he glances back Wedge, Luke, and Hobbie are talking furiously about something and Stordan isn’t sure he wants to know.

They’re a few feet from the cafeteria when Bodhi takes his hand and Stordan stills thinking maybe Wedge and Hobbie were right. Bodhi tugs him into a nearby out of the way corner. “Draven wants to talk to you too.”

No, they’re just friends. He can handle being just friends, Stordan reminds himself.

“Cargo runs aren’t actually cargo runs, are they?”

Bodhi offers an apologetic shrug.

“Kay will like that and we can probably bargain to use the U-wing,” he points out.

Bodhi agrees.

“If the medics don’t try to turn it into a mobile unit first,” he reminds.

“Don’t give them any ideas,” Bodhi grumbles.

Stordan smiles.

They share the tray once they find Kay. After returning it to the cafeteria they go to Draven’s office. It is partly a cargo run and partly checking rumors about two people recovering from injuries that match Jyn and Cassian’s description.

“It’s in Imperial territory, which after the way he proved himself on Scarif, is the reason we're asking Bodhi to pilot. You’re SpecForce so we can use your expertise. K-2SO has proven to be a valuable asset when infiltrating Imperial areas, as long as you don’t need him to lie. We’ll send an additional medic and the Guardians have decided they’re going along,” Draven informs them as he hands Kay a datapad. “This is the information we have so far.”

Kay looks down at the datapad then informs Bodhi, "Reports are that you died on Scarif."

"We should probably keep it that way," Stordan puts in. "It's safer if no one knows what you look like and you don't have a bounty."

"Yes," Draven agrees, then indicates the datapad. "We've thought of that."

Kay hold it out to Bodhi who frowns then looks at Draven. "Do I want to know how you have spare Stormtrooper armor?"

"Probably not," Draven tells him.

"I'm not sure it's worth the risk of Jyn shooting me," Bodhi points out. "Or Cassian."

"She didn't shoot me," Kay offers.

“When do we leave?” Stordan asks.

“As soon as you can.”

Halfway through loading supplies onto the ship Kay decides that if Bodhi does come back to fly with a squadron that he’s going to need a droid.

“Do you prefer the R2 or the R5 droids?” Kay asks.

“What are you going to do?” Bodhi protests. “Walk up to any droid you see and ask it if it wants to copilot on some dangerous missions?”

“Only after I remove the restraining bolt. You’ll need a droid,” Kay insists. “You’re not going to see me co-piloting an X-wing.”

“I’m worried for them too,” Stordan offers Kay. If anyone knows how low the odds are of the two people actually being Jyn and Cassian it’s Kay.

“I’m worried about finding Bodhi a droid,” Kay volleys back. 

“What’s the big deal about stealing it from the Imps?” Stordan asks. If Kay wants to keep distracting himself this way, the least Stordan can do is help.

“Offering it the chance to defect,” Kay corrects.

Stordan frowns as he waits for Kay to explain. Kay looms briefly while tilting his head.

“He thinks you need a droid that defected,” Stordan teases Bodhi, aware of the pun.

Bodhi groans and rolls his eyes.

“Well I didn’t say his boyfriend needed to be a defector, just his droid,” Kay defends.

“Boyfriend?” Stordan and Bodhi exclaim and question at the same time.

“Yes. I appreciate you not kissing in front of me,” Kay informs them.

Once is weird enough, but to now have Kay agreeing with Hobbie and Wedge is strange.

Bodhi stares at Stordan. “We aren’t kissing at all.”

“No, we aren’t,” Stordan barely manages to agree.

“Why not?” Kay prods. “Wait, I don’t want to know. The way you two are looking at each other with those elevated heart rates tells me you’ll just start kissing now.”

They both stare as Kay walks away. Then they stare at each other.

Stordan wets his lips. “I know you’re grieving.”

Bodhi cross the ship. Stordan takes a step back, but then he’s against a wall. Bodhi presses close. 

“Are you still grieving?” Stordan asks.

“Some days,” Bodhi agrees, “But the good outweighs the bad most days. What about you?”

“The good is starting to outweigh the bad,” Stordan agrees.

Bodhi smiles briefly and then closes the distances between them. Stordan meets him halfway. Stordan closes his eyes and sinks into the kiss. Bodhi’s hands come up to cup his cheeks. He pulls Bodhi more firmly against him. Bodhi rubs his cheeks and steps back as he reminds, “We have to get ready to go.”

It’s dangerous and not everyone is as trained as they could be.

Stordan presses one more kiss to Bodh’s lips. “So, we have something to look forward to when we get back.”

Bodhi agrees.


End file.
